This is the same sweet smiling face who lied to me for the first time last night. I walked away from the dinner table to wash a couple of dishes and when I came back his mini-hamburger was gone. I asked if he ate it, he said yes.

I later found it under the table.

I picked it up, dusted it off, and told him there is no lying and he was to eat it or there would be no tv before bed.

He screamed, cried, stomped his feet, and spit at me.

So I put him in the corner where he screamed, cried, banged and pounded some more. After time was up, he came out, sat at the table, ranted and raved, so I put him to bed. Where he screamed, cried, pounded his feet, and spit at me some more.

After he got out of bed – twice, I put him back in the corner. He then professed his love for me, said I’m the best mom in the world, yelled about his neck/back/throat hurting, and insisted he was still hungry, that his tummy was grumbling (not true since he also ate corn, a banana, and a breakfast bar with “dinner”).

Next, he escaped out of the corner screeching at me the whole time that he would not go back. I went over and ordered him back to the corner. It was then that he broke my heart with an ear piercing scream and look of terror. I gulped, sighed, and picked him up and put him back in the corner.

At this point he was acting like was a hardened criminal that swore he’d never go back and there I was dragging him through the front door of the clink.

He did eventually go to bed, but only after asking for, “My Daddy and my doggie.” I told him Daddy was at work, but that he would be here in the morning.

He repeated that he wanted his Daddy and his doggie. I asked which doggie, hoping with all my heart that he meant a stuffed animal, but nope. He wanted Avery. Now, tears filled my eyes and I couldn’t answer for a minute. In that moment of silence, he started repeating over and over, while sobbing, that “Avery was died.” I eventually pulled myself together enough to tell him that while yes it was true, maybe he could try dreaming about Avery. He agreed and seemed to settle down a bit. I gave him a hug and kiss, told him I loved him and said goodnight.

He eventually fell aslep and I recuperated the rest of the evening on the couch, savoring every minute of his sweet snore tangled with ragged breath flowing through the monitor.

How could such a happy face make me so crazy sometimes? And all over a stupid mini-hamburger?

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